Getting (really) DRUNK for 99 cents...

[neobuyer]

So I was grocery shopping at the 99c store and out of the corner of my eye I see a huge bottle of pancake syrup, only it's not really pancake syrup- it's "cooking wine". I sort of do a double take, thinking: "they aren't really selling a GALLON jug of booze here for 99 cents are they?" Well it turns out they ARE selling a giant jug of wine for a dollar, but that's not all- it's not just regular wine but 17% alcohol content fortified wine ...a gallon of it for 99c.

This is like 3 bottles of "Night Train" or "Thunderbird" grade alcohol for a dollar. One bottle of Night Train used to cost me $2.99 back in the late 1990s, and here it is 2019 and they're selling the same shit for what amounts to about 33c a bottle!

I really wanted to buy that shit, not even to drink it- just to have it for the novelty, lol. If I were having a party, on the other hand...

 

[LoneSage]

I honestly can't tell if you seriously think cooking wine is okay to drink.

 

[Xavier]

What happened with your beef jerky?

 

[SpamYouToDeath]

I honestly can't tell if you seriously think cooking wine is okay to drink.

Depends on what they poison it with. Is it just salt that's supposed to make it non-potable? I've never attempted to use cooking wine, either way.

 

[neobuyer]

I honestly can't tell if you seriously think cooking wine is okay to drink.

It isn't?

 

[neobuyer]

Depends on what they poison it with. Is it just salt that's supposed to make it non-potable? I've never attempted to use cooking wine, either way.

The only potable alcohol that's for sale that's been made "non-potable" that I have seen in stores is the denatured alcohol they sell in home improvement stores. Because they used to sell straight ethanol at Home Depot but hillbillies can get shitfaced off of that so they put in additives that will make you throw up if you drink it.

I'd bet money this stuff is 100% ok to drink in the same sense that bad Sherry is 100% ok to drink.

 

[SouthtownKid]

Night Train is a B wine.

 

[LoneSage]

neobuyer is GregN. Mk.II confirmed.

Dude you can't drink cooking wine.

 

[voltronbadass]

Sage you better redact that shit and let the man drink it, we need the drama.

 

[StevenK]

I don't think I'd even cook with that, and I'll drink anything.

I guarantee lachlan would chug this shit down with a smile on his face though, and I respect that.

 

[theMot]

Drink it all at once then come post the result.

 

[Dr Shroom]

Night Train is a B wine.

The B stands for quality.

 

[neo_mao]

Cooking wine is halal right?

 

[norton9478]

This scene from Family Ties has always stuck with me (though I never realized/remembered that Tom Hanks was Uncle Ned).

I'm sure it was a cautionary tale of alcoholism, it just taught me that middle class suburban cupboards are full of alternative alcohol.

 

[LoneSage]

I've never watched Family Ties before but that scene was uncomfortable. The laugh track was unnecessary but I guess was supposed to make people feel at ease. And then look at all the idiots commenting say it was funny. When he grabs Mike and gets in his face is the worst. Great acting, Tom. Also, very very thin.

 

[neo_mao]

I like the fact that this noobuyer guy found some cheap wine and immediately thought to make a thread about it here, despite the fact that he hasn’t posted here in like a decade.

I guess that says a lot about us.

Good job everyone.

 

[evil wasabi]

Cooking wine is halal right?

Do you ever wonder if Islam would be less lame if they didn’t copy the stupid shit from Judaism like kosher?

 

[norton9478]

I've never watched Family Ties before but that scene was uncomfortable. The laugh track was unnecessary but I guess was supposed to make people feel at ease. And then look at all the idiots commenting say it was funny.

The 80's were crazy like that.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Very_special_episode

 

[LoneSage]

Anyways, neobuyer has always thought of himself as /r/iamverysmart, and yet this isn't the first time he has been really dumb about something most people already know.

Also here's another post where he's completely wrong while I'm at it: http://www.neo-geo.com/forums/showt...ica-Deserves&p=4017868&highlight=#post4017868

 

[wataru330]

One time at Canned Food Warehouse in Eureka, CA there was an end cap display of what appeared to be bottled water.

No label, $3.99.

Just a clear 750ml bottle...filled w/ clear liquid.

The only nomenclature on the bottle?

CCCP stamped/embossed into the bottom of the bottle. (!)

I was too scared of Chernobyl and/or possibly going blind, to drink any.

 

[LoneSage]

One time at Canned Food Warehouse in Eureka, CA there was an end cap display of what appeared to be bottled water.

No label, $3.99.

Just a clear 750ml bottle...filled w/ clear liquid.

The only nomenclature on the bottle?

CCCP stamped/embossed into the bottom of the bottle. (!)

I was too scared of Chernobyl and/or possibly going blind, to drink any.

My brother, what you saw was baijiu, Chinese liquor. If you ever felt like drinking something that can pass as paint thinner, go for it. But go slow.

 

[norton9478]

So anyways, how did the cooking sherry taste?

 

[norton9478]

One time, I left some alcoholics at my apartment on a Sunday morning while I went to work.

They nearly went dry.

I came home and they had drank all of the Amaretto. Then they walked 3 miles to the nearest gas station.

 

[norton9478]

My plan is to teach my daughters how to make their own hooch before they go to college. Then they don't have to worry about Cooking Sherry, Shady Gas Stations, Fake ID's and all that gobbly gook.

Sugar+Yeast+Warm Bucket.

I wish I knew how easy it was when I went to college.

 

[LoneSage]

Is marijuana still illegal where you live? I think alcohol is worse than marijuana (because I'm a fat fuck for drinking beer everyday now).