How young were you when you first lost a parent?

[Mr.Bojangles]

My father who is in his 80's and who is set in his ways has emphysema. He recently, acquired pneumonia and now his blood oxygen levels are very low. So low that it is hard to wake him and that his organs are suffering. We dont know how much longer he has. All I know is that if I could trade my life for his I would. I'm sleeping maybe 2 nights out of a week. I have been drinking 96 ounces of beer 4 days out of a week each night. Im not well physically and emotionally and I break down and cry alot. How did you guys deal with the loss of a loved one?

 

[StevenK]

I can't think of anything that would make a parent more unhappy than their child laying their life down for them.

I don't believe you are a real person, this is some invented online persona nonsense.

 

[@M]

Sorry that your Father is failing. Just try to be there for him whenever you can and remember the good times.

My Mother is in her early 70s, but still alive. I don't even know who my Father is or if he's still breathing.

I'm kind of numb to death in general. It's unfortunate, but, it's a fairly routine event at my job, so, I'm used to it. Granted, the elderly residents aren't my blood family, but, I've known many of them for a long time, you become attached, and then, one day, you come in and the hearse is there taking their body away.

Everything dies and all things will be broken. No wonder Haohmaru is an alcoholic.

 

[neo_mao]

Sorry to hear about your father Mr. B., hope he recovers and pulls through somehow.

My dad died when I was 15. Very tough on my mom, siblings and I...but we made it through. Still miss him. Still visit his grave. Still wish he was around especially when I hit big milestones in my life.

From my perspective, generally when you lose someone you love, it doesn’t really matter how old you are...it hurts.


neo_moe serious posts feel weird, don’t they?

 

[Mr.Bojangles]

Sorry that your Father is failing. Just try to be there for him whenever you can and remember the good times.

My Mother is in her early 70s, but still alive. I don't even know who my Father is or if he's still breathing.

I'm kind of numb to death in general. It's unfortunate, but, it's a fairly routine event at my job, so, I'm used to it. Granted, the elderly residents aren't my blood family, but, I've known many of them for a long time, you become attached, and then, one day, you come in and the hearse is there taking their body away.

Everything dies and all things will be broken. No wonder Haohmaru is an alcoholic.

I appreciate your words of kindness and wisdom M, believe me. I wish I could feel some of that numbness you do, but everytime I think of my dad, I think of all the times he held my hand when I was a little boy, and how he was always there to wipe my tears away. With him dying, a piece of me is also dying and this is the worst pain I've ever felt.

 

[Mr.Bojangles]

Sorry to hear about your father Mr. B., hope he recovers and pulls through somehow.

My dad died when I was 15. Very tough on my mom, siblings and I...but we made it through. Still miss him. Still visit his grave. Still wish he was around especially when I hit big milestones in my life.

From my perspective, generally when you lose someone you love, it doesn’t really matter how old you are...it hurts.


neo_moe serious posts feel weird, don’t they?

Thank you man.

 

[XxHennersXx]

I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

To answer your question...2 months. Not even that.

 

[Mr.Bojangles]

I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

To answer your question...2 months. Not even that.

If there is any solace in what you went through, is that you lost them at a young enough age, not to remember much if anything at all. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[cr8zykuban0]

Really sorry to hear what you’re going through man! I lost my father is October of 2019 from health complications, he was 80 but he also drank and smoked a lot! I’m just glad I was able to pay him a visit on the hospital that I flew out to New York to see him, he was living in the Dominican Republic so I would always talk to him on the phone. It’s never easy to lose a family member but it’s always good to reach out to folks and do things to keep you happy!

 

[NeoSneth]

My Pops passed when i was ~33. He was just starting his retirement, and he had a 4th relapse with Lymphoma. The outlook was never great... I thought I had it rough, by my nephew lost his father at just 17. My brother also suffered from an unrelated form of Lymphoma, it was his 2nd relapse.

In an odd way, it was calming to know this was not a unique feeling, so I hope you can find something that helps. Almost everyone goes through this experience. It does not get easier, and my life has never been the same. It was definitely a moment where something completely switched in my brain. Everything changed.
Find something that flashes joy, and revisit it often. mentally or physically. You will get through this.

 

[max 330 mega]

My mom passed when i was 27. I had just gotten home from 5 months on a tug boat in Alaska. Had big plans to go travel to different countries in the next 6 months i was going to be off work. I get home, she tells me shes having surgery in a week, i had a bad feeling about it and told her so, but she pretty much made it clear she was doing it no matter what. That day came, she had the surgery, was in a coma for 5 days, woke up for 3 days, they sent her home, and within 24 hours after that she internally bled to death. Spent the next year and a half settling her estate. Glad that whole pile of shit is over now. It all sucked.

 

[HornheaDD]

My dad died in a car accident in our front yard. He was pulling out of our driveway (turning right) on a rainy morning in a residential area no-pass zone. A truck was about to pass our place when the driver in the car behind that truck decided to illegally pass the truck as my dad was pulling out of the driveway. He (my dad) took evasive action and turned off the road immediately to his right while the other driver slammed on his breaks, which basically made him head straight for my dad's door. His car came to a stop sort of back in the driveway to the right.

Sadly I don't think he died instantly. I think he died when I was trying to talk to him to see if he could hear me when I ran up to the car. I remember him exhaling really big and his weight sort of settling. The idiot that caused the accident ended up as if he was about to exit our driveway. I went up to him to see what his situation was, and he was doing these really heavy, labored breaths every few seconds. Sort of like a snore, and it looked like he was trying to wake up but couldn't. He didn't die for about 6 months but he was a vegetable in the hospital until he finally got his plug pulled. He was apparently a regular customer at my mom's bank and she said she recognized him because of a tattoo he had on his forearm or shoulder, I can't remember.

I found where his parents lived and when I found out he died, I sent a letter telling his parents I was glad their dipshit kid suffered for 6 months and that they had to pay for all of his medical bills.

This was in 1997. I had just turned 20 about a month before.

He only ever got to meet my wife (then girlfriend) once. After he met her, he told me "Damn, son - good job."

 

[Mr.Bojangles]

Thanks guys. I truly am sorry for you, and my heart hurts for you all. Hearing all your stories makes me feel I'm not alone. Thank you for that

 

[ChopstickSamurai]

Sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my Mom when I was 17, and my Dad at 37.

 

[NeoSneth]

I found where his parents lived and when I found out he died, I sent a letter telling his parents I was glad their dipshit kid suffered for 6 months and that they had to pay for all of his medical bills.

"

Ooof. That's a rough story through and through. In retrospect, would you reconsider the letter or does it still help?

 

[fake]

Both of my parents are still here, but I dwell for probably a cumulative half hour per day on how rough it's going to be to lose them and my pets.

 

[Syn]

49 I think. It was my father.

My mother's 84. Drives, sharp mind and much healthier than my sister and I.

 

[SignOfGoob]

My bother died last year. It wasn’t totally unexpected and I’m pretty stoic to the core so it didn’t have a massive emotional effect on me at first. I feel it more as time goes on. For someone you’ve known so long, your brain has to slowly re-wire all it’s connections that suddenly no longer go anywhere. Things like Kung fu movies, indie hiphop, metaphysics, and the movie Clifford I no longer have anyone to talk to about and that gets to be a drag after a while. I don’t know anyone else who has read Thich Nhat Hanh *and* I Am Jackie Chan, not around here anyway.

My father also died last year but I haven’t seen him since the 70s and he never did two things for me ever so it was more amusing than anything to find that he had also disowned me a few weeks prior for reasons I can only speculate upon.

 

[Cylotron]

My father passed away from multiple myeloma back in 2008 at the age of 71. My long-time girlfriend passed away from colorectal cancer on her 40th birthday in 2019. Most recently, my sister-in-law(45) passed away from complications of cancer+covid-19 and my cousin(44) passed away from covid-19 a little over a week ago. I'm starting to just kinda get a bit numb now to the whole "death" thing and just waiting until it's my turn. Not saying I'm going to try killing myself again or anything... just kinda taking things a day at time and looking forward to when I do leave this place.

 

[100proof]

Fortunate to still have both my parents but not from lack of trying. My father crashed his motorcycle in to the back of a car about 7 years ago. Broke damn near every bone in his body and was in the hospital for months (and physical therapy for a year plus after that to walk and talk again). He's had a couple of strokes since then (most likely related) but he's still here. He had to give up smoking and the drink a few years back but we snuck out for his favorite cigar and a glass of bourbon to celebrate his 70th recently. Make the most of the time you have with them.

My condolences to all those who have lost loved ones, especially too soon.

 

[HornheaDD]

Ooof. That's a rough story through and through. In retrospect, would you reconsider the letter or does it still help?

Not once. Call me a morbid cunt, but I'm still proud of myself for it. Was it a mature thing to do? Nah. But I would do it again. Over the years I've even considered sending follow-ups. I haven't, obviously, and the wife thinks it would be petty. I agree it would be, but still.

When I mentioned that my mom recognized the kid (he was prob in his mid to late 20s when I say kid, btw), I forgot to mention *why* she recognized him. He was apparently an asshole to her and her co-workers on multiple occasions because he refused to carry his ID, which of course he didnt have on the day of the accident, driving his parents car that he wasn't an insured motorist on. He bitched and screamed at them when he overdrew his accounts, etc. I never saw this happen, but my mom doesn't have a dishonest bone in her body, so if she said it happened - it happened.

Seeing my dad die right in front of me in my front yard as a 20 year old isn't even the worst part of it. That's not what made me so angry and thats not what sticks in my head from that morning. Seeing what it did to my mom that day and for months after is what made me angry.

Her crying face is burned into my brain and I'll never forget it. That image is more vivid and painful than the image of my dad in his car that morning. I'd never seen her cry and scream like that, even at her own mother's funeral. She kept screaming and asking me why it happened, and screaming "Why, he was my best friend. My best friend."

Fuck that kid. Fuck that kid's parents. I hope they're still paying off those medical bills.

 

[Mr.Bojangles]

Not once. Call me a morbid cunt, but I'm still proud of myself for it. Was it a mature thing to do? Nah. But I would do it again. Over the years I've even considered sending follow-ups. I haven't, obviously, and the wife thinks it would be petty. I agree it would be, but still.

When I mentioned that my mom recognized the kid (he was prob in his mid to late 20s when I say kid, btw), I forgot to mention *why* she recognized him. He was apparently an asshole to her and her co-workers on multiple occasions because he refused to carry his ID, which of course he didnt have on the day of the accident, driving his parents car that he wasn't an insured motorist on. He bitched and screamed at them when he overdrew his accounts, etc. I never saw this happen, but my mom doesn't have a dishonest bone in her body, so if she said it happened - it happened.

Seeing my dad die right in front of me in my front yard as a 20 year old isn't even the worst part of it. That's not what made me so angry and thats not what sticks in my head from that morning. Seeing what it did to my mom that day and for months after is what made me angry.

Her crying face is burned into my brain and I'll never forget it. That image is more vivid and painful than the image of my dad in his car that morning. I'd never seen her cry and scream like that, even at her own mother's funeral. She kept screaming and asking me why it happened, and screaming "Why, he was my best friend. My best friend."

Fuck that kid. Fuck that kid's parents. I hope they're still paying off those medical bills.

This probably goes against forum rules, but I'm so sorry for the pain you've all endured. I hope you've all healed in some way. Let's me know I'm not the only human on this earth that has to deal with this inhumane pain.

 

[Heinz]

Not yet.

 

[LoneSage]

This is a heavy thread and I wish everyone here peace with it. It's something we all have to deal with one day.

 

[GohanX]

Both my parents are around, but when I was little my paternal grandfather lived with us. While both of my parents worked, my grandpa was the one who was always taking care of me, teaching me, playing with me. He was my favorite human being on the planet.

When I was 3 he had a heart attack, right there in the house with my mom and me there. I remember the paramedics loading him in a gurney and taking him off in an ambulance. They never revived him.

It sucked. It still sucks.