Linguistic Experiment - Data Collection Ended

tsukaesugi

Holy shit, it's a ninja!,
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I'm conducting an experiment for an article I'm writing and I need to collect some data from English speakers. Rather than try and elicit anonymous volunteers over the Internet I thought I'd let you guys have a crack at it first.

I can't explain the nature of the experiment or the article yet, because I don't want to influence anybody's answer. Once I'm done with the data collection and my article is written I can describe what I was looking for in more detail.

All I'd like you to do is look at the two pictures below, and fill in the blanks with what you think an English speaker would naturally say in that situation. If you don't think a native speaker would say anything at all, or you can't think of anything to say, please just write an "X". There are obviously no right or wrong answers.

This being Neo-Geo.com, I'm sure there will be people who are tempted to post a smart-ass answer or two (hell, I know I'd be sorely tempted). After all, what would this place be without smart-ass answers. That's fine, I may even be able to use some of these in my data, however, if you're going to take the trouble to post a funny or silly answer, please try and post a natural answer first - what you think a native English speaker would naturally say in that situation.

Also, please do not read what the other people have posted until you submit your own answer. It's better if your answers aren't influenced by what other people have already written.

If your first language isn't English, you can still participate - I'm more than happy to collect answers from speakers of other languages. If you aren't a native English speaker please write what you'd say in your language and then translate that back into English (and please make a note of what your native language is).

Thanks for reading so far, and thanks to everyone who agrees to becoming a guinea pig, ahem... I mean participating in the experiment.

PICTURE 1 - Two people are meeting for the first time. What does the first man say after he says "I'm Bill Jones"?
Picture1.jpg


PICTURE 2 - Two friends are at a meal, before they start eating. What does the first man say? (Forget that the second guy is raising his glass, this is not supposed to be a toast.)
Picture2.jpg
 
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bokmeow

Ned's Ninja Academy Dropout
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Is there more context to each picture, tsukaesugi? I can think of a number of things to say for each.

And do you want us to post the responses in this thread?
 

Ghost-Dog

Presented by the Florida Department of Economic Op
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I had to supress my urge to think of something funny and/or offensive.

Here goes:

Picture 1: "Johnson here (the gentleman in-between the two) has told so much about you." seems to be the expected statement in this situation for your average native English speaker.

Picture 2: I'm having a hard time with this one. The only thing that came to mind was "Bon Appetit" due to the upscale appearance of the men in the picture. Had they been in a Hooters on lunch break, I'd insert "Fuck yes, I'm starving". In my circles we generally don't say anything, we just start eating whilst continuing whatever conversation we were carrying on before the food arrived.

I hope that helps?
 

Darren870

Previously Lusted for Lard
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Picture 1: Please, call be Bill (Mr. Smiths first name)

Picture 2: So, how are things at home?
 

KagerouSama

Dr. Brown's Time Machine Mechanic
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1. "Hello, Mister Jones. Does that friend of yours always wear a corn-fed smile? He's creeping me out."

Yes, that's my serious answer.

2. "Remember, Johnny; first thing you do is send the waitress on an impossible task. Then we make for the front door nice and quiet-like to get out of the check!"

I know you said no smart answers. But for the life of me I can't think of anything more fitting--so I'm going with that.
 
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bokmeow

Ned's Ninja Academy Dropout
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Well, seeing as everyone has posted replies in this thread, I'll take off my limiters.

Picture 1: "So I hear that you graduated from [so-and-so] University!"
"I've heard so much about you!" (standard shooting the breeze)
"Welcome aboard!" (If Mr. Smith is joining the company)

Picture 2: "Don't wait for me --- please go ahead and start eating." (Happens to me all the time)
I can't say I've heard of the English equivalent of "Itadakimasu" utttered before the start of a meal when I'm in the states, which comes naturally to me in all non-social settings. There's not much else to say before eating, as the socializing may take place between reading the menu and ordering or arrival of the meal.
 

Domino-chan

, Certified Gamer Chick,
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1. I'm Bill Jones. I invented the piano key necktie.

(I'm a goofball sometimes and I couldn't resist.)

2. This one's a little hard as we don't know what the previous conversation was before the food came. The guy on the right looks like he's holding up the glass in order to flag down a server. But I'll give it a shot.

"I hope this tastes as good as it looks."
 

Buro Destruct

Formerly known as, Buro Destruct, , Southtown Stre
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1st Picture: X (nothing as opposed to can't think of anything)
2nd Picture: "It's been awhile since I've had this." (referring to the meal he ordered)
 

Sex Machine

Big Monkey Balls 20
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Picture 1: "Great, it's good to finally meet my extortionist."

Picture 2: "So, you are the one sleeping with my wife while I'm at work."
 

Mike Shagohod

Stray Dog Grunt
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PICTURE 1 - Two people are meeting for the first time. What does the first man say after he says "I'm Bill Jones"?
Picture1.jpg

"So how familiar are you with the city? Been here quite awhile myself, if you want to hit up the less tourissy spots let me know. So what brings you to _____wherever?"

PICTURE 2 - Two friends are at a meal, before they start eating. What does the first man say? (Forget that the second guy is raising his glass, this is not supposed to be a toast.)
Picture2.jpg

"DAMN, did you see the waitress? I mean, I'm a married man but I can look at the menu. Shoot in my single days..."

SERIOUSLY this is what comes to mind.
 

Zenimus

Zantetsu's Blade Sharpener
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Lost in translation...

1. X (usually after introducing yourself, it's the other guy's turn to speak)

2: I was thinking the same thing that Bokmeow was (yes, I cheated and read everyone else's responses before posting, but I already thought about what to say!)... if you're looking for an English equivalent to "Itadakimasu", I don't think there really is one. Given the restaurant situation in the picture, I suppose most English speakers might simply examine each other's food and say something like "Hey, that looks good!", or "They call that a 12 ounce steak? Are you serious?"
 

not sonic

King of Typists,
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1: X
2: looks good, eh?

OR
1: Now get on yo knees, honkey biatch.
2: ITADAKIMASU!! ^_^
 

LoneSage

A Broken Man
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Pic 1: "How are you?"
Pic 2: "It's been awhile, what have you been up to?"
 

neobuyer

Master of Disguise,
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I'd be glad to assist y'all.

#1: "I've heard so much about you." (Dunno why, but that came to mind.)
#2: "This place is one of my favorites, trust me- you'll love it."

My smart-ass joke answers:

#1 "Now wipe that shit-eating grin off your stupid fuck face before I swipe those glasses of your nose and feed them to you."
#2 "Coprophagia is a fetish that really, really benefits from a nice tablecloth and decent silverware. I like eating my own shit with a knife and fork."
 

tsukaesugi

Holy shit, it's a ninja!,
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Fantastic. Thanks to everyone who's replied so far.

Keep 'em coming.
 

Xian Xi

JammaNationX,
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Easy.

1. "Pleasure to meet you sir." or "..from Accounting."
2. Did you see that touchdown last night? or "Dude, I can't believe he actually teabagged those drums, the sound of his sack hitting the drums was hilarious."
 

NeoCverA

RevQuixo. Who He?,
20 Year Member
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1. What brings you here?
2. Let's munch out!

What I was really thinking:
1. I'm innocent sir.
2. So this fucking guy actually said "I'm innocent, sir" to Smith!
 
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PleaseKillMeNow

Aerobics Instructor,
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1- He's the man I've been telling you so much about. He'll be perfect for the job!

2- That colored sure knows how to cook!
 

khyron

Haomaru's Blade Shiner
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Well tsukaesugi you always struck me as a straight shooter so here are my serious answers.

Picture one response: Hello Mr. Jones Pleasure to meet you.

Picture two response: Lovely weather we are having.

Those two responses are what immediately popped into my head. Dont ask me why I responded the way I did to two, it was literally the first thing that I thought of.

I am sure you will get more jokes then you need.
 

ki_atsushi

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For Games.
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This thread's potential is off the charts. Straight off the fucking charts.

What seriously comes to my mind:

#1 I've never had white meat before. Or a threeway.

#2 What is that shit you're sipping so daintily, you fucking faggot! :mad:
 

Greatkiller

B. Jenet's Firstmate
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Posts
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#1: "and yes im well hung"

#2: "So I did her doggy style and then..........."

pic 2 because of what dave chappelle said that white folks rather talk about their sex lives then their political affiliations

:mr_t:
 
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