So I saw Alien Covenant. I am pissed (spoiler free rant)

Spike Spiegel

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So, my favorite movie franchise of all time is Alien. The first movie is an all time classic. I've seen it probably 50 or 60 times. Love Aliens. I even really enjoy Alien 3. Prometheus is also one of my favorite movies, too. Don't get me started on Resurrection or the AvsP films. Blech

But then here comes Alien: Covenant. What a shit load of fuck.

And here's the part that infuriates me the most. This film was made for someone like me. Someone that follows all the films with such devotion, such as myself. I knew every nod, every easter egg that the film showed me. AND I DIDN'T CARE. It took a favorite character of mine from the series and ruined it. David was just so cringe-worthy in this. The CGI was crap (and I never complain about that). I always find it a silly, elitist nerd complaint to say, but this film's CGI was horrible. Like, what year is it? Unbelievable.

Not a single character is noteworthy. They don't explain diddly squat. The movie just starts with people in peril, and you don't know who they are or care. Even when it starts to almost sorta/kinda flesh people out, it doesn't. You pretty much HAVE to see the youtube videos before this to even get half a sense as to who they are and what's going on.

Then there's all the things they do with the xenomorphs. I don't want to get into spoilers, but one scene where David looks down on his "creation" and extends his arms... I wanna vomit. Just fucking vomit.

Way to ruin the whole series for me, Ridely effing Scott. Bravo.
 
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Pasky

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Was hoping to see this because I like Prometheus a lot despite a lot of people not liking it. Was hoping this would explain some things from that movie. Sounds like this is going to be disappointing though. One thing I thought stupid was in one of the trailers they're sending these people to colonize a planet and there's a gay couple? It seems like some force fed political correctness shit haha. Colonize a planet, send two guys that plug each other, good idea!

Oh well, I'll avoid this thread until I watch it myself, still sorta looking forward to it to see what happened with the characters from Prometheus, actually more interested in that than the whole Xenomorph shit.
 

famicommander

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Not surprising.

I hated both cuts of Alien 3, Resurrection, Prometheus, and all the AVP bullshit.
 

Late

Reichsf?rer-Finnland,
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Haven't seen it yet, I'm skeptical to say the least.
 

evil wasabi

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The fact that the better Alien movie was cancelled for Scott's covenant is another sore subject. Despite whatever people think of district9 and Elysium, blomkamp had a great idea for the sequel.

I feel like the studios are ultimately to blame. Just like with Alien 3 (which would have been amazing if they stuck with Gibson's material)
 

Rot

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The fact that the better Alien movie was cancelled for Scott's covenant is another sore subject. Despite whatever people think of district9 and Elysium, blomkamp had a great idea for the sequel.

I feel like the studios are ultimately to blame. Just like with Alien 3 (which would have been amazing if they stuck with Gibson's material)

16563630997_a49fc0de7b_b.jpg


xROTx

PS. Will NOT watch... I mean... There's fucking with my Childhood films... and then...

.... There's fucking me in the ass WHILE they're fucking with my childhood films...
 

Late

Reichsf?rer-Finnland,
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^^Yup, Alien 3 could've been great.
 

smokehouse

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I saw it last night as well...and it is just terrible.

I could go on and on about all of the things that made it awful, but how about this...

It's supposed to be the year 2103...and they're using AR15s and F90 rifles. Firearms that would be close to 100 years old (or older) at the time. Blomkamp would not have done that...

I know this is a small detail, but it sums up the entire film...half ass. The plot is half ass, the attention to detail is half ass...the entire film is a mess.

...and this is coming from someone who really enjoyed Prometheus.
 

evil wasabi

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I saw it last night as well...and it is just terrible.

I could go on and on about all of the things that made it awful, but how about this...

It's supposed to be the year 2103...and they're using AR15s and F90 rifles. Firearms that would be close to 100 years old (or older) at the time. Blomkamp would not have done that...

I know this is a small detail, but it sums up the entire film...half ass. The plot is half ass, the attention to detail is half ass...the entire film is a mess.

...and this is coming from someone who really enjoyed Prometheus.

Yeah well you could have made an emotional connection to characters before they got killed off in Prometheus.

But like then you see James Franco sleeping the entire movie and like how do you connect with that?
 

smokehouse

I was Born This Ugly.,
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Also glad no one mentioned how bad the cgi was.

It's bad as well. Not Alien Resurrection bad...but poor enough for 2017.

My real grip is movie trying to tie things together that simply do not require explanation. And like mentioned before, David, a favorite character, it completely ruined in the film.
 

MissFaith

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DARN! Was really looking forward to this after Prometheus set the bar high again. Will probably wait for DVD now after seeing so many bad reviews here and other sites.
 

Average Joe

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Hearing that people liked Prometheus is as crazy to me as a Donald Trump being President.
 

Rot

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who the fuck is MissFaith

New Chatster... Still training...

Imagine MissFaith as you 10 years ago when you passed through chat and talked to me....

Chat... is like a real time forum... with me as the host...

xROTx
 

MissFaith

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who the fuck is MissFaith

Part time newbie, full time lurker and pondering wildcat.

DOES SHE HAVE A DICK

Does somebody go out into the park and pull up the dinosaurs' skirts?

New Chatster... Still training...

Imagine MissFaith as you 10 years ago when you passed through chat and talked to me....

Chat... is like a real time forum... with me as the host...

xROTx

I will be back soon to make more friends and less sense. I promise I have been doing my homework.
 

Shipwreck_00

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I hate to admit it but the aliens did look pretty cool in my opinion. But overall story was weak and don't get me started on the whole David thing.
 

fake

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I'm not surprised at all.

Dark Star - Amazing
Alien - Absolute classic
Aliens - Very good
Alien 3 - Trash
Alein 4- More trash
Prometheus - The last 20 minutes are decent
 

SML

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John Carpenter should direct Alien movies; it's settled.
 

WoodyXP

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I saw Covenant yesterday and thought it was 'meh'. It was a generic Alien movie smashed together with Prometheus. No new ground broken.
 

Spike Spiegel

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SPOILER AHEAD:



Nothing in the history of cinema was as shitty and stupid as that FULLY DEVELOPED xenomorph coming out of the captain, and then practically waved to David as this sappy, endearing music played. I was besides myself with disgust at this scene.


END SPOILER
 
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