The effects of moving on my 10 year old daughter

[smokehouse]

*que madman comments*


When we bought our house back in 2004, we never planned on living there much more than 10 years. It's in a nice, small neighborhood in a an area of about 150,000 people. The grade/Jr High school is a great one, it's very small (my daughter's grade is currently 17 kids...yes, grade), and the school rates pretty well. It's rather underfunded, but they do well with what they have. Sadly, in high school she'd dump into a much larger school of around 1200 students...a school that does not rate well and one that has many issues. Because of this, we had planned to move some time before she was in Jr High. She's currently in 5th grade so we figured now was the time. Going to a different school from 6th-12th should be plenty of time for her to re-root.

After looking at homes in various towns, we settled on a home in a small community about 30 min away from where we live now (the main town is 2000 people). The school rates very well and the HS has a student population of around 300-350 kids.

Long story short, found a house, made an offer, listed our house, it sold in 11 days. We've been moving/pending since Oct 31st, we close this Thurs.

Either way, at first my daughter was extremely excited about the move. My wife and myself tried to warn her that this would be happy/sad but she had no point of reference. Sun night was our last night in the house, movers came yesterday to get the big stuff out, we're now at a friend's house until closing on Thurs.

Last night she had a breakdown...and it broke my heart. Just before bed, she stood there quietly sobbing, telling us she wanted to go home and that she no longer wanted to move. In her tiny world, she's just new to all of this. I felt so bad for her.

We told her that it was going to be ok, and that once we moved in her stuff would all be there and it would feel more like home. We did our best to tell her that "home" is wherever we all are, not necessarily a building. She came around a bit...but I can still see it in her eyes.

Thankfully, her current school agreed to let her finish the year there, so at least this won't be as much of an ice bath as it could have been.

 

[Neo Alec]

I wouldn't worry until after the move. If she's still upset in a few months, then you have a problem. Moving to a new town was really tough for me in middle school. Maybe 10 is still young enough where it can be easier.

 

[skate323k137]

Moving is always super stressful to anyone, especially at that age.

I have nieces who went through a similar move, and aside from them occasionally making sarcastic jokes about it, nowadays it seems to have helped them mature for having gone through it.

Best of luck on the move and house change. Doing the same myself... I'm spent. Couldn't imagine doing it with kids of my own.

 

[smokehouse]

I wouldn't worry until after the move. If she's still upset in a few months, then you have a problem. Moving to a new town was really tough for me in middle school. Maybe 10 is still young enough where it can be easier.

We think she's going to be happy where we're moving...it's a nice town, small town. Our current neighborhood is small and sits right on what could be described as a highway. 4 lanes, center lane, massive amount of traffic. She only gets to roam a few blocks, there's really little wildlife.

The new town is small, lots of area to roam, massive woods in our back yard, a nice sized river half a mile away. She'll love it for sure. It's just this shocking transition she's not used to.

When I was her age, we bounced around like a ping pong ball. My parents were often evicted so we moved often. By the time I was her age, we moved well over 10 times and lived in 3 different states...so I never really got attached.

I will say that this is only the 3d time my wife and myself have moved in over 20 years of being together...so it's not like we move often either.

 

[evil wasabi]

Ignore her complaints until October next year. If after 6 weeks she hasn’t settled in and found new friends, then there’s a problem.

Also, install home security to make sure she doesn’t try the old 5th grader move of running away.

 

[smokehouse]

Best of luck on the move and house change. Doing the same myself... I'm spent. Couldn't imagine doing it with kids of my own.

It's a ton of work...but it's self inflicted so I really don't feel right griping about something that was 100% avoidable. We've been moving all month, have stuff scattered all over the place. We have stuff in a rental storage unit, at my work shop, our valuables at my friend's house (where we're currently staying), and in the garage of the new house...so we're all over the place. The timing was super tight on everything so we opted for movers to get the large stuff out yesterday (right after that blizzard smacked us...yay).

Being 10 years old, my daughter has been a trooper so far, I can't complain at all. She's been super helpful, and quiet when she needs to be. If she was younger? Man...that would have been a pain. Like I said earlier, she's been all kinds of excited right up until last night when everything smacked her.

 

[Lastblade]

She will be fine after a few months to adjust. As long as she makes new friends, she should be fine. Parents these days worry too much about every little tear and setbacks, it is not how we fall but how we learn to get back up that define us (que Batman).

 

[smokehouse]

She will be fine after a few months to adjust. As long as she makes new friends, she should be fine. Parents these days worry too much about every little tear and setbacks, it is not how we fall but how we learn to get back up that define us (que Batman).

We're sure she'll be fine, it was just her breakdown that got me last night as she's not one to do such a thing.

She already knows one little fella who moved from our neighborhood to the same town last year. They were buddies then, at a minimum he'll be a familiar face come next year.

 

[FilthyRear]

Did you deliberately move to the biggest house in the neighborhood, so you can one-up that bragging bitch on facebook?
Does your new house have a lanai so you and the girls could have a slice of cheesecake?
Do you and your wife truly have seperate rooms at opposite ends of the house, so she cant walk in on you masturbating or mixing up each other's underwear?
Is it closer to your work, so there's less of a commute for you to yell at people about how to do their jobs?

So many questions...

Congratulations on this new chapter of your life!

 

[smokehouse]

Did you deliberately move to the biggest house in the neighborhood, so you can one-up that bragging bitch on facebook?
Does your new house have a lanai so you and the girls could have a slice of cheesecake?
Do you and your wife truly have seperate rooms at opposite ends of the house, so she cant walk in on you masturbating or mixing up each other's underwear?
Is it closer to your work, so there's less of a commute for you to yell at people about how to do their jobs?

So many questions...

Congratulations on this new chapter of your life!

You know...I had to google lanai:

"a porch or veranda"

...you learn something new every day.



*EDIT*

BTW...our current house in all it's glory is still up online if any of you are interested in snooping a bit:

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/302-Harmony-Ave_East-Peoria_IL_61611_M75796-20199

 

[FilthyRear]

BTW...our current house in all it's glory is still up online if any of you are interested in snooping a bit:

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/302-Harmony-Ave_East-Peoria_IL_61611_M75796-20199

Is that price common for that area?

 

[smokehouse]

Is that price common for that area?

In our neighborhood? Yes...$80-$130K is very common, it depends on the condition of the house and when they were last "gutted". All were built in the mid/late 40's so none of them are even close to original inside/out.

 

[fake]

*EDIT*

BTW...our current house in all it's glory is still up online if any of you are interested in snooping a bit:

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/302-Harmony-Ave_East-Peoria_IL_61611_M75796-20199

God damn. You can't get a studio condo for that price around here.

 

[NeoSneth]

she'll be alright.
I grew up as an air force brat moving every 4 years. There was only 1 time moving really sucked. It was never traumatic.

 

[madman]

God damn. You can't get a studio condo for that price around here.

If you set foot in that town you'd realize why housing is so cheap.

 

[smokehouse]

God damn. You can't get a studio condo for that price around here.

Housing is pretty affordable around here, but like I said earlier, East Peoria High is not a desirable school, so the housing is cheaper. Nearly any town outside of a few local towns and the pricing goes up quickly.

Granted, compared to larger cities? Yes, you get so much more for your money. The only punch in the face around here is property taxes...which go up very quickly. A house in the $250K range will set you back $7-8000/yr in taxes.

$250K house, around $9,000/yr in taxes:
https://www.realtor.com/realestatea...-Dr_East-Peoria_IL_61611_M77229-65129?view=qv

This $500K house has just over $12,000 in taxes
https://www.realtor.com/realestatea...ookstone-Dr_East-Peoria_IL_61611_M78074-56987

This one For $900K has nearly $20,000 in taxes:
https://www.realtor.com/realestatea...-Dr_East-Peoria_IL_61611_M82136-22866?view=qv

People that transplant here for companies like Caterpillar often have a heart attack when they see the property taxes on the $300K house they want to buy...

If you set foot in that town you'd realize why housing is so cheap.

East Peoria is interesting...There's some seriously low rent areas...and some seriously high priced areas. Within 5 miles of my house, you can buy a home for $30K...or $1.15 million:

https://www.realtor.com/realestatea...-Rd_East-Peoria_IL_61611_M77157-32907?view=qv

*correction*

That million dollar house is not even 2 miles from my house, as the crow flies...it's a pretty diverse area.

 

[NeoSneth]

wtf does that property tax get you?

 

[smokehouse]

wtf does that property tax get you?

A finger up the ass?

Take the taxes on my current home; $2460/yr. It breaks down as follows:

Grade school- $1082
High School- $503
"east Peoria Corp"- $289
6 other items totaling $585

Take that house I pointed out that is shelling out nearly $20K in taxes, it pays $7300/yr to the grade school, $4640/yr to the High school. It pays over $1000/yr to the fucking library...LOL...

Our taxes around here are ridiculous...

 

[SpamYouToDeath]

Is $1000/yr to educate your children really that expensive?

 

[smokehouse]

Is $1000/yr to educate your children really that expensive?

That's kind of a goofy question though...that's $1000/yr for the grade school, $500 for the High school, and $120/yr for the local community college...forever (and it will continue to go up). 1 kid, 10 kids, 0 kids...and that's just my house, my house is rather cheap all things considered. Also, that number is 50% higher than when I bough the house, which isn't worth anywhere near 50% more than what I bought it for (no houses anywhere around here jumped up like that despite the taxes). Illinois also has a flat 5% income tax, and local sales tax is 8.5%.

I'd like to know how other states handle schools.

 

[GohanX]

Schools are mostly funded by local property taxes, that's why schools in poor areas are awful and the schools in rich areas are good. It's a busted system.

 

[smokehouse]

Schools are mostly funded by local property taxes, that's why schools in poor areas are awful and the schools in rich areas are good. It's a busted system.

What's weird is what business are taxed and how they're taxed. For a smaller area, EP has some large commercial chains...some are taxed in weird ways, for example:

Caterpillar world HQ, ann taxes $179,900, portion to local schools $76,000

Target, ann taxes $273,000, portion to schools $8700

Costco, ann taxes $366,000, portion to schools $12,000

Bass Pro Shopps, ann taxes $422,000, portion to schools $0

Wal Mart, ann taxes $349,000, portion to schools $231,000

It's funny what you can find on public records...

 

[SpamYouToDeath]

That's kind of a goofy question though...that's $1000/yr for the grade school, $500 for the High school, and $120/yr for the local community college...forever (and it will continue to go up). 1 kid, 10 kids, 0 kids...and that's just my house, my house is rather cheap all things considered. Also, that number is 50% higher than when I bough the house, which isn't worth anywhere near 50% more than what I bought it for (no houses anywhere around here jumped up like that despite the taxes). Illinois also has a flat 5% income tax, and local sales tax is 8.5%.

I'd like to know how other states handle schools.

My house in Arizona is assessed at around $130,000. My property tax was like $1800 last year; the highest income tax bracket is 4.5%. Our schools are catastrophically underfunded - you may have read about the protests on the news. It works out great for me, though, because I don't really use any of the government services that have been trashed by our relentlessly incompetent legislature. If I had kids, I'd move to a better state ASAP.

Edit - just found the itemized summary from last year. Schools and libraries total around $975, and that level of funding gets you a dysfunctional mess.

 

[Heinz]

My family moved 4 times as a child, new friends every 2-3 years yay!

 

[F4U57]

Where I live, a house that size with that much land would be up around the 800k mark.

Good luck on the move and your daughter settling. I’m sure she will too.