Jehovah Witnesses have been preaching about this the last 100 years

[zapatistab]

but the moment a main stream pastor brings it up...he gets the front page of Time Magazine. He's says there is no Hell.

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2065080,00.html

 

[Marek]

Yeah no hell. Hell is the ensuing catharsis resulting from facing God and realizing you lived a shitty and mostly regrettable life. Then you'll be ok. Humans have the pity of the cosmos. We're weak and, for the most part, stupid.

 

[norton9478]

Wait till everybody figures out that there isn't a heaven either.

 

[Dr Shroom]

Can my 72 virgins be men?

 

[Marek]

Heaven would be boring as fuck. I just want to go to other galaxies as a disembodied spirit entity. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

 

[Decepticon]

Wait till everybody figures out that there isn't a heaven either.

 

[ki_atsushi]

Heaven would be boring as fuck. I just want to go to other galaxies as a disembodied spirit entity. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

Actually, that's exactly what you'll be able to do. We're supposed to ahve a spirit body like the resurrected Jesus and walk through walls and shit. And transcend into heaven.

 

[abasuto]

Actually, that's exactly what you'll be able to do. We're supposed to ahve a spirit body like the resurrected Jesus and walk through walls and shit. And transcend into heaven.

Data when transmitted wirelessly can move through walls and shit.

One day we'll download our brains onto other formats, cloned bodies, assorted machines...etc, then transmit our knowledge (ourselves) wirelessly.

If you look at it from an openminded perspective, nearly all the ancient religion's text of endtimes and or the afterlife can be directly tied to the potential of technology. Heaven per described above, reincarnation a result of cloning.

I believe all life has two options. Eventual extinction or to become like it's creators. The later means you'll move on to create life yourself which will face those two options and thus, the universe' cycle of life.

 

[Takumaji]

Next they tell us that Santa is a lie!

 

[Poonman]

For the last 100 years they've been preaching a lot of things.

How many times did they have to bump the arrival date for Armageddon?

 

[sylvie]

Data when transmitted wirelessly can move through walls and shit.

One day we'll download our brains onto other formats, cloned bodies, assorted machines...etc, then transmit our knowledge (ourselves) wirelessly.

If you look at it from an openminded perspective, nearly all the ancient religion's text of endtimes and or the afterlife can be directly tied to the potential of technology. Heaven per described above, reincarnation a result of cloning.

I believe all life has two options. Eventual extinction or to become like it's creators. The later means you'll move on to create life yourself which will face those two options and thus, the universe' cycle of life.

Hey, let's drop acid sometime, kay? We can learn more.

 

[zapatistab]

For the last 100 years they've been preaching a lot of things.

How many times did they have to bump the arrival date for Armageddon?

haha...a specific date or time has never been indicated by JW's...1975 was adopted within the various congregations, but was never preached about as an organization. The Bible doesn't reveal a date. No one knows.

 

[sylvie]

haha...a specific date or time has never been indicated by JW's...1975 was adopted within the various congregations, but was never preached about as an organization. The Bible doesn't reveal a date. No one knows.

According to some teenagers in my town, May 30th is when Jesus arrives.

 

[norton9478]

Of course, the whole JW shebang was more or less founded by distraught Millerites, trying to figure out where exactly William Miller went wrong with his great disappointment.

 

[sylvie]

I eagerly await Xenu's cock to fill me with his seminal fluids of wisdom. Ejaculatory heaven is where I will lie for eternity.

 

[abasuto]

I eagerly await Xenu's cock to fill me with his seminal fluids of wisdom. Ejaculatory heaven is where I will lie for eternity.

If by cock you mean the brainwashing he did to the thetan that now inhabits your body, then it's already happened.

For $50,000 we can perform an audit to remove the brainwashing Xenu did and Clear your mind.

This message is approved by the Church of Scientology.

 

[Marek]

But superpowers will cost you 3 million

 

[SML]

but the moment a main stream pastor brings it up...he gets the front page of Time Magazine. He's says there is no Hell.

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2065080,00.html

You were robbed, bro.

 

[Ami Tajiri]

Heaven would be boring as fuck.

 

[SML]

Hell is reserved for those that believe in it.

 

[Adderall]

But superpowers will cost you 3 million

so how DOES magic johnson stay alive anyway?

 

[sylvie]

If by cock you mean the brainwashing he did to the thetan that now inhabits your body, then it's already happened.

For $50,000 we can perform an audit to remove the brainwashing Xenu did and Clear your mind.

This message is approved by the Church of Scientology.

Consider me in! Thank you! THANK YOU MY LORD

 

[aria]

so how DOES magic johnson stay alive anyway?

You missed this episode?

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/164373/they-found-a-cure-for-aids

 

[abasuto]

so how DOES magic johnson stay alive anyway?

Being in excellent heath when you catch HIV, staying in excellent via exercise and the ability to spend millions a year on HIV meds.

 

[Spike Spiegel]

Exercise? Have you seen that huge fatass lately? He's spitting in HIV's face.