World Heroes feat. Berry Togart as Janne Part I
Setup
I have to get an emu (mvs still in the snailmail and it comes with WH2Jet not WH) and MAMEUI64 crashes - what a start.
After trying FinalBurnAlpha which just can't seem to locate my roms I go back to the good old neorage.
It's a bit late and I'm reluctant to put down my Arcade Monster for playing - so I use a XBox controller.
Configuring it I realise Neorage only recognizes the analogue stick - this will be "fun".
I pick Janne and have absolutely no clue about the moves. I see the french flag and immedately have to think about great french cheese and baguette.
While my thoughts seem to slip away I pull myself back together. This is about World Heroes - so it is a serious thing! (hmm)
Round 1
I have absolutely no clue what the moves on the gal are and get the bruce lee guy as opponent - no match for Jeanne D'Arc *cough* ah.. Janne.
The only move I can pull off is a Sonic Boom, which is a ... dragon thing in this game. Everyone knows Janne battled with a flaming dragons head and... oh well.
Desperately trying to pull of all I know (dragon punch, fireball motion, etc.) fails horribly - but I'm unsure if it is due to the moves being different or the "awesome" analogue stick.
I win the first round, loose the 2nd and realise CPU Bruce only has one tactic - Jump into my roundhouse kick.
Round 1 - VICTORY! Janne informs the beat up bruce that she should call him a goddess now. I don't know if that was the quite the story I remember about her, but I'm pretty sure the guy who told her to strike down the Burgunds would have something against declaring herself in such a way.
Round 2
Rasputin - lover of the russian... there is no fucking queen in russia - they're called csars there.
Weird match - the man in the skirt laughs at me and starts engaging. In the first round I give him the good old "roundhouse in your face" tactic.
2nd round he seems to have learned how to block it and starts countering a bit. He beats me up and I loose round 2.
Sobbing a bit like the beaten girl I am I hide in the corner and resent to old tactics. I "flaming dragon thing" the shit out of him.
Some get blocked, some get through - he tries to jump over my "burning face of the dragon" and I roundhouse him - BAM!
Round 2 - VICTORY! "Would you like to make another comment about my place being in the kitchen?" WTF? If I saw a girl armored like that (I love that in older games the girls some times were smart enough to wear armor that would NOT expose all their vulnerable spots) I wouldn't dare to send her there.
How would she EVER prepare a meal in time with that heavy armor?
Round 3
A Rock! - Ok now the opponents get harder and harder!
I roundhouse kick like a madman... ah.. woman and carve myself a muscular guy out of stone. I have no clue how I'll move the guy home, but perhaps Marty can attach a trailer to the delorian when he drives me home after I win this tournament.
Round 4
Fuuma - the red hmm... ninja? Well he's preparing for the aftermath of planet of the apes and tries to keep tight bonds to the guys. This is one of the most hillarious stages I've ever seen, but I haven't got much time to admire the scenery because it seems to be time to pay for my lifelong sins in 2P mode.
The guy ninja star spams me like there's no tomorrow. My jumping coordination is aweful with the analogue stick, because I have to press up almost directly to make my brave french maid jump.
Star - Star - Star - Star - I go down in 2 rounds.
He advises me that I should do like a bonsai and leave. I have no clue what they were thinking when writing this pun, because even if it was a leaf - what would be the connection to the bonsai? (It has leaves? Still pointless)
Anyways - for today I take his advice and call it quits.