Beer rant

[Tjanko04]

Alright. So the Mrs. and I were just at our favorite local liquor store after having dinner to pick up a bottle of wine to have while figuring out how we're going to wire up the surround sound in the basement. We plan to do though the walls and everything. (Finished ceiling too, so this may be a bitch.) Afterwards, we plan to play some Pilotwings. But I digress.

As we're walking out, I hear this lady ask this question to the guy working there: "Do you guys have any Oktoberfest in like, a pale ale?"

I stop, give the wife a squinty side-eye, and ask,

"Did I just hear her ask for an Oktoberfest in a pale ale?"

She confirmed with a chuckle that it was exactly what she asked.

Seriously, lady, don't drink beer again. Like, ever, you fucking twat. It's like, "Oooo, I would really like to get in the fall spirit, but I don't like that kind of beer, do you have something that says Oktober-something but tastes more like something me and dumb hoity toity friends drink while we bitch about our husbands and gossip about Jessica since she's not here tonight."

Why that irritated me so much, I'm not sure. I'm going to try and calm down while I enjoy this Cabernet Sauvignon-style pink Moscato.

 

[kuze]

I'd be a horrible bartender, as I'd have poured her some Oktoberfest mixed with a pale ale.

 

[Neorebel]

It's like going to a special brew pub and hearing a nearby person ask if they have any coors light

 

[LoneSage]

Beer snob eh. Figures a 2016 nurb would be.

 

[BLEAGH]

Makes me think, any good layered beer combos with octoberfest?

 

[Jibbajaba]

Makes me think, any good layered beer combos with octoberfest?

WTF is a "layered beer combo"? The beer combines with your mouth. Just get the dick out of the way and pour it in there.

 

[LoneSage]

WTF is a "layered beer combo"? The beer combines with your mouth. Just get the dick out of the way and pour it in there.

You poor fool, don't you understand the Indian Pale Ale combos with the Mexican Brown Piss and the German Schließmuskel Kabel for a layered flavor of pure beer essence ecstasty that you can taste again when you shit it all out?

Yeah here's my rant. Fuck all beer fags acting like wine snobs. If it's beer and gets me there then that's what matters. The end.

 

[CrazyDean]

WTF is a "layered beer combo"? The beer combines with your mouth. Just get the dick out of the way and pour it in there.

I would assume he means something like a Black and Tan.

 

[Tw3ek]

Yeah here's my rant. Fuck all beer fags acting like wine snobs. If it's beer and gets me there then that's what matters. The end.

What I don't get is when did this simple fact stop mattering?

 

[Tjanko04]

You poor fool, don't you understand the Indian Pale Ale combos with the Mexican Brown Piss and the German Schließmuskel Kabel for a layered flavor of pure beer essence ecstasty that you can taste again when you shit it all out?

Yeah here's my rant. Fuck all beer fags acting like wine snobs. If it's beer and gets me there then that's what matters. The end.

Haha, whatever dude. That's the same shit as saying, "A video game is a video game as long as I end up playing something." Shit, might as well eat plain bread every day as long as it gets you full.

If getting you there is all that matters, well good for you. Some people like beers or wines or liquors and not just drinking alcohol.

 

[Tjanko04]

WTF is a "layered beer combo"? The beer combines with your mouth. Just get the dick out of the way and pour it in there.

Ahhhh, but NOW the question is, does it matter what you're pouring in or is a beer a beer?

 

[BLEAGH]

I would assume he means something like a Black and Tan.

Exactly.

 

[Tjanko04]

Exactly.

I dunno, I can't think of anything that would mix will with that kinda style beer. Black and tan you got a thick dark with like the opposite style, but Oktoberfest is just like right in the middle.

 

[LoneSage]

Ahhhh, but NOW the question is, does it matter what you're pouring in or is a beer a beer?

There are good and bad beers just like good sex and bad sex, good pizza and bad pizza. Doesn't matter, had a beer/sex/pizza.

Any straight man surely wouldn't rage over beer nomenclature, faggot.

 

[Jibbajaba]

Ahhhh, but NOW the question is, does it matter what you're pouring in or is a beer a beer?

It matters only in that I love beer, I love trying different beers, and of course I have my preferences. But I'm no beer snob and don't turn my nose up at "cheap stuff" when it's offered. Your OP came off totally snobby, because clearly the woman just didn't know about beer and needed to be taught what a märzen is. If you want to act like a snobby cunt, stick to wine or scotch.

 

[Tjanko04]

There are good and bad beers just like good sex and bad sex, good pizza and bad pizza. Doesn't matter, had a beer/sex/pizza.

Any straight man surely wouldn't rage over beer nomenclature, faggot.

It wasn't a legit rage, it was tongue-in-check, hence the comment about Cabernet-style Pink Moscato at the end. Some people got it, you obviously didn't, faggot.

 

[Tjanko04]

It matters only in that I love beer, I love trying different beers, and of course I have my preferences. But I'm no beer snob and don't turn my nose up at "cheap stuff" when it's offered. Your OP came off totally snobby, because clearly the woman just didn't know about beer and needed to be taught what a märzen is. If you want to act like a snobby cunt, stick to wine or scotch.

Shit, there's no reason to be snobby about wine or Scotch either. I'm not gonna turn down cheap stuff either. As a matter of fact, my buddy and his wife tried making his own wine and gave us a bottle. It was more like vinegar juice than wine. Drank as much as I could because it was a gift, ya know.

The whole point wasn't because she didn't know. Guess you had to be there. It was the kind of elitist type, middle aged WASP that happened to be foo fooing one of my favorite style of beers. If I came across as a snobby cunt, shit happens.

 

[LoneSage]

Nah fuck you noob. Keep on getting haughty over shit you can buy at Wal-Mart for 9 bucks a six pack, fag. Also fuck your wife.

 

[Tjanko04]

Nah fuck you noob. Keep on getting haughty over shit you can buy at Wal-Mart for 9 bucks a six pack, fag. Also fuck your wife.

Hahaha, alright sport. Have a good night.

 

[Jibbajaba]

Damn, Sage be ragin'.

 

[LoneSage]

Must be all this Super Dry Asahi. Fuck me if I know what kind of beer it is, I just know it's good. And fuck OP's wife.

 

[geise]

OP bitches about the woman and beer but walks out of a liquor store with wine.

 

[Tjanko04]

OP bitches about the woman and beer but walks out of a liquor store with wine.

Because liquor stores sell wine. It's really convenient when you go to one to buy some. You lost me man...

 

[Montatez]

Because liquor stores sell wine. It's really convenient when you go to one to buy some. You lost me man...

Lol he means you sound like a pussy with that wine you named, you pretty much have no room to complain!

 

[StevenK]

I drink aftershave, and I'm not snobby about the brand.