'Twas The Neo Night Before Christmas...

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BioMotor_Unitron

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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Garou 2 danced in their heads.
And mamma in her 'kerchief,and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what should appear to leave my mouth all agape,
But a queer named Chris Ray, and a hideous shaved ape!

What a hideous beast, this, so swollen and gross,
I wondered which gun of mine would harm it the most.
Then the ape spoke, amidst all this fracas,
"There are AES carts in this house, or my names not Dion Dakis!"

They slinked more than walked, 'cross the snow covered grass,
All the while with Chris sniffing at Dion's ass.
"We'll get their home carts, we'll "Officialize" them, see?"
"It'll be like a Christmas gift, from you and me!"

"And NGF too, our Official company!
SNK's never heard of us, but soon they will see!
We're worthy to work for them, at minimal pay,
Since those hookers only charge two dollars per lay!"

They stood on my porch, like some redneck elves,
I kept from laughing, in spite of myself.
They broke open the door with no skill at all,
Whilst I hid, and did not yet splatter their brains 'cross the wall.

I watched while these crooks skulked towards my game room,
Then took my gun from the closet, where it was next to the broom.
It was a Benelli 12-Gauge, it packed quite a blow,
Especially loaded, like now, with 12-Gauge Sabot.

These losers reached the game room and turned on the light,
Chris whined, "I've never seen so many games in my life!
They're stacked to the ceiling, they cover the wall!
And look at the home carts, he has almost all!"

Dion looked and he snorted, and said with a laugh,
"You don't get it, do you? Talk about a gaff!
These home carts are worthless, they're not Officialized!
We'll fix them up right, though, won't THEY be surprised!"

"We'll take these ugly Jap inserts, we'll shred them like cheese,
And replace them with ours, as nice as you please!
All pixellated and ugly, such nice looking crap!
Especially with our website printed on back!"

I'd heard enough, and the final straw,
Was when that ape Dion reached out a paw,
He reached towards the shelf to grab a home cart,
While I chambered a round, causing Chris Ray to fart.

"Oh Gawd," Chris Ray cried while he grabbed his ass and danced,
"I do believe you just made me go shit my pants!
I'm rather incontinent, can't control when I go,
I'm a bit stretched out there, seeing as I'm Dion's ho!"

"I don't care if you shit yourself, you foul little rat!
I won't allow you two to handle my home carts like that!
I like my home carts just the way that they are!
Real inserts are better than your fakes by far!"

After saying this I raised my shotgun and said,
"Unless you want to wind up in a hospital bed,
I suggest you take your hand away from that cart,
Unless you don't mind losing a body part."

Dion drew his hand back, looking guilty and shamed,
"We just want to help! How can we be blamed?
We just want the world to be Official, you see.
And you know, of course, that Neo Geo means me!"

I gestured them up the stairs with my gun.
"Now don't either of you two go and try to run.
I'm calling the cops, they'll take you two away,
To where you can be someone's bitch each night and day."

They looked at each other and shouted with glee,
"The slammer!?" they cried? "Oh, can it be?"
"We've heard of this place called prison, you know,
Where those weak like us can be someone's ho!"

I wondered at these freaks, thinking prison fun,
Whilst I picked up the phone and called Nine-One-One.
The dispatcher sent some cops right away,
While out on the lawn I made these crooks lay.

"I should have shot you two freaks right downstairs,
But I would hate to get blood on my chairs.
I hope you've learned your lesson, I hope you've learned it well,
If I see you again, I'll send you to Hell."

The police showed up then, and hauled them away,
They tried to leave Chris, but I would not let him stay.
Standing on my lawn, stinking of shit,
So they shoved him in the car and said, "Oh, Hell with it."

"We'll need a statement from you, sir, if you'll drop by tomorrow."
And drop by I did, much to NGF's sorrow.
Since they were caught in the act of a crime,
It was most certain they would both end up doing time.

No more fake home carts, no more fake inserts,
Thanks to the fact that both of those jerks,
Liked prison life so much that they wanted to stay,
And as far as I know, they are still there today.

That Christmas day, it was truly a joy,
For Saint Nick had home carts for each good girl and boy.
They were all real, no fake ones were left,
Not a single insert bore the smear "NGF."

And as his sleigh flew on back towards the North Pole,
Saint Nick had completed his delivery goal.
We all heard his cry as he flew out of sight,
"Neo Geo for all, and to all a good night!"

-BioMotor_Unitron



[This message has been edited by BioMotor_Unitron (edited December 25, 2000).]
 

DEVIL_GUI

You can fantasize all day long, believing that you
Joined
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TWAS THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS AND ALL THRU THE HOUSE
YELLOW WAS STIRRING UP A LITTLE BROWN MOUSE
......BUT NOTHING EVER INTERESTING HAPPENS IN AUSTRALIA.......IT SO HOT SANTA WONT VISIT US........

THERE AM I ON PAR WITH YOUR EXCELLENT POEMATRY BIOMOTOR (I LAUGHED ME AZZ OFF! VERRY NICE!)
DEVIL GUI
 
I

Iori

Guest
LOL, funny shit, man. Let me try.

As I saw Dion & Chris in the back alley
Trying to sell me their NGF "Thrash Rally"
I said no, Chris got Dion Fellated.
I almost threw up, listening to "Sedated"

I said "Don't do that shit during my song."
I taught 'em a lesson that will sure last long.
I pulled my 30-odd-six from under my coat,
Final justice for Chris and "The Goat."

The taxidermist charged me 200 bones,
so don't disgust me whilst playing Ramones,
Now Neo fun is had by all.
As the perpetrators now smile on my wall.

[This message has been edited by Iori (edited December 25, 2000).]
 

chimpmeister

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Hey Biomotor, that was AWESOME!!! What a great "interpretation" of that poem you've written!! Very nicely done . . .
biggrin.gif
biggrin.gif
 

BioMotor_Unitron

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Thanks, all.
wink.gif
It was fun to do. Did not take very long either, once I got the idea into my head.
tongue.gif
Merry Christmas, everyone!

-BioMotor_Unitron
 

BioMotor_Unitron

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Seeing as how Christmas is just around the corner, I thought I would ^BUMP!^ this up to the top again. I revised it at one point, but the Thread it was in was deleted by the originator. <IMG SRC="smilies/frown.gif" border="0"> So, without further ado, for those that did not see it the first time around, read the first Post in this Thread. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: BioMotor_Unitron ]
 

THEMAN

Angel's Love Slave
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Wow!! A post that was a year old. I wasn't even around then. Anyway good poem. <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">
 

chainsawyak

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I remember reading that last year and laughing my ass off... Yep, had pretty much the same effect this time around!

Did you write that whole thing yourself Bio?

That's some funny stuffs... Hehehe <IMG SRC="smilies/loco.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/loco.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/drool.gif" border="0">
 

BioMotor_Unitron

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Originally posted by chainsawyak:
<STRONG>Did you write that whole thing yourself Bio?
</STRONG>

Yes I did. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">
 

Tarma

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LMAO.

Well funny. Nice one.

<IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
 

baller99

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great writing there.
I am amazed that at least some of us on the boards have creativity.Damn videogames.

Peter
 

Lee Gray

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I applaud you BioMotor_unitron for making me laugh out loud <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">That really was as funny as fuck <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">
 

peterr928

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i remember that from last year, i started to read the beginning of this one today and i instantly remembered the words
 

Herzog Drei

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icon25.gif
pic69.gif



...as one of the newer members:Thx for resurrecting this-LOL

Though i have to say:Bio,you had way too much time last year.. <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">How long did it take to write this?
 

BioMotor_Unitron

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Originally posted by Herzog Drei:
<STRONG>
icon25.gif
pic69.gif



...as one of the newer members:Thx for resurrecting this-LOL

Though i have to say:Bio,you had way too much time last year.. <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">How long did it take to write this?</STRONG>

It took about fifteen to twenty minutes once I got the idea in my Cognitive Co-Processor. <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">
 

Herzog Drei

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Originally posted by BioMotor_Unitron:
<STRONG>It took about fifteen to twenty minutes once I got the idea in my Cognitive Co-Processor. <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0"></STRONG>

Lucky Machinehead! <IMG SRC="smilies/envy.gif" border="0"> ...... <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
...and then just print it out? <IMG SRC="smilies/tickled.gif" border="0">

No,seriously!I'd guessed 3 weeks... <IMG SRC="smilies/spock.gif" border="0">

[ December 10, 2001: Message edited by: Herzog Drei ]
 

BioMotor_Unitron

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Three weeks? What kind of uncreative hack do you take me for?

One final trip to the top before Christmas gets here. <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
 

BrooklynSkin

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Really great stuff. I remember reading this before I became a registered member. I didn't really get some of it (didn't know who ngf were) Now it's funny as hell.

So you can rhyme easily huh? You should become a rapper. Can you freestyle?

Merry Christmas to all

Jon da Brooklyn Skin
 

SilverAngel

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Hahahahahahahahahahaha.....oh ho ho ho

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is well funny! <IMG SRC="smilies/glee.gif" border="0">
 

Parallax Abstraction

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Posts
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That was certainly funny, yet it's another example about how you guys can't just ignore NGF. You guys complain about them constantly and how you'd wish you go away and then you keep touting their name and giving them more publicity with this stuff (any publicity is good publicity.) Ah well, it's all good anyway. I don't feel like getting flamed into eternity. It as funny nonetheless Biomotor! Merry Christmas! :D
 
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