? For people in their late 20's & 30's...

[cannonball]

I get the occasional pressure, but not too bad. I'm only 28 though. Most of my cousins got married over the past few years so I stick out more now. My friends don't say shit, but most of them aren't married either.

 

[GregN]

Tell them to fuck off and you'll do it when you're damn good and ready. Not before, and not after. Tell them it's on your timetable and not theirs.

My Dad was married @ 38, had me when he was 44, and things have worked out great for everybody.

 

[ironish]

Tell them to fuck off and you'll do it when you're damn good and ready. Not before, and not after. Tell them it's on your timetable and not theirs.

My Dad was married @ 38, had me when he was 44, and things have worked out great for everybody.

+1 It's really nobody else's business when you get married and have kids. Is your dad going to raise your kids for you? No. YOU have to.

I wouldn't worry about any outside pressure, especially if the people who are pressuring you cross the line. Too many people think they have life figured out, and they all have their opinion on what you should do. Just do whatever you think is right for you, and to hell with other people's opinions.

 

[NeoSneth]

im surprised i didnt see this thread earlier.
i've been with the same woman for 6 years and I am near 30 yrs old.

i get hounded by everyone. Mostly my friends that are married are the ones that give me the most shit.

We do not want kids.

I do not see the need for us to get married. We keep our finances and purchases separate, and neither of us have a spiritual need to be bound. Marriage makes sense for people with mixed incomes and people with religious beliefs.

 

[TheBigBB]

I wish more people would refrain from having children just because they think they should. There are plenty of people on the planet already.

 

[Medaka]

Yeah pretty much.
People think your gay if you don't get married/have kids..
which is always fun.

 

[rarehero]

my mom's never gotten on me about finding someone very much.
and when she has she's always mentions she knows a good korean girl for me.
and you know, i tell her,
are you serious? korean women are crazy.

besides. the only woman I ever really cared about remarried her ex husband.
As long as she's doing it for her little girl.
maybe I should put myself back on the market.
after I get a job.
god, am I out of money.
maybe I should get a girlfriend just so I can have someone help out with rent.

 

[Deuce]

maybe I should get a girlfriend just so I can have someone help out with rent.

And people say romance is dead.

 

[Magician]

From my folks, well...my mother anyway, all the time. Her and my father met in their mid-teens and they've stayed together, with very little conflict, ever since. Not a week goes by where my mother points out that there are several attractive women at her work who'd like to meet me, or when we're out having dinner how "that girl across the room" or "that waitress walking by" is/are checking me out. She desperately wants grandchildren, and I don't have the heart to tell her that it'll never happen. There's no doubt I'll have a strong relationship with a woman at some point in my life, but I have no intention of having children. I don't wish these genes on anybody (a strong trackrecord of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, alcoholism, addiction, etc).

 

[Deuce]

She desperately wants grandchildren, and I don't have the heart to tell her that it'll never happen.

You're doing her no favors by letting her get her hopes up.

 

[Steve]

You're doing her no favors by letting her get her hopes up.

In the words of Robin Williams AKA Theodore Roosevelt,

"Sometimes it's better to tell a noble lie than to tell a hurtful truth"

 

[payment_due]

In the words of Robin Williams AKA Theodore Roosevelt,

"Sometimes it's better to tell a noble lie than to tell a hurtful truth"

But lies make baby jesus cry.

 

[jro]

Ironically enough, I actually never got pressured to get married or anything like that. Pressure in my family was huge, though, regarding education and career- I once told my mother I was considering taking a year off of college, and she about tore my ears off of my head.

Anyway, no, I never had any pressure about marriage or kids. In fact, I think my parents would be perfectly happy if I waited until I was 40 to get married again, for obvious reasons. I don't think they'd care if I didn't have kids, which is good, since I don't see myself wanting kids and only think I'll have kids if they're a second wife's by other means (wow, that was convoluted as hell).

Too much into having my own freedom, ala payment_due. Maybe just bang hookers and snort blow the rest of my life.

 

[td741]

Never really pressured. I think my mom was mentioning continuing the family name when I was 18-20'ish. However, at the time I was concentrating on my studies and nowhere near finding the girl to settle down with.

What drove most of the pressure off was that my sisters (both 10 and 7 years older then me) both had kids. (I've got 4 nieces and 2 nephews). I'm also the youngest child of my "generation" of kids. My cousins are all older and some have kids that are my age.

That said, my wife is the oldest of her generation and is the first one to get married. I think she does get a few hints thrown at her, but then again all of her family are on the other side of the world.

 

[jro]

One piece of advice: if you do get married too early, be sure to take nude pictures of your wife. Assume she'll forget about them when she copies her stuff off the computer when you get divorced.

 

[neo_mao]

I got married earlier this year at age 29....but I didnt get any pressure from my folks...probably because I am the youngest of my siblings but the first to get married...

Some of it also has to do with the fact that quite a few of my mom's friend's children have gotten married and divorced within their 20's. She probably realizes better to stay single than to pressure someone into making a bad decision.

 

[Lets Gekiga In]

That said, my wife is the oldest of her generation and is the first one to get married. I think she does get a few hints thrown at her, but then again all of her family are on the other side of the world.

I always wondered if Russian mail order brides were good...

 

[2Dfan]

nice topic. I think it depends on your personality/financial situation. I don't know if I ever want to get married while my gf doesn't want anything more than this pffft.

Anyway, live as free as you can. While you still can. It's over before you know it.

 

[Deuce]

In the words of Robin Williams AKA Theodore Roosevelt,

"Sometimes it's better to tell a noble lie than to tell a hurtful truth"

There is no such thing as a noble lie. Reminds me of another saying:

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

 

[Nesagwa]

There is no such thing as a noble lie. Reminds me of another saying:

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

 

[LoneSage]

and things have worked out great for everybody.

you sure about that

 

[Deuce]

I know, I know. There's no such thing as Hell. But consider it a figure of speech used to make a point.

A lie is a lie is a lie.

 

[Endlessnameless]

Within the past 3 years I moved from Florida to Tennesse and the values are way different here than what I grew up with. Not good or bad, but different. And (at least in this area) it seems that people get married real young. Young of course is a relative term. For me, getting married young would be like 16-22. And what is funny to me is that people who have been together for a couple of years, obviously have fucked refuse to live together until they're married. I don't get it. They spend the night, get crazy and fuck but it looks bad to move in together? Anyway.... I'm 28 and quite honestly I couldn't imagine settling down any earlier. I will be married soon and we both want kids but we both recognize that right now is not the best time and we are going to wait. I'm very fortunate that my family has always been very supportive in my decisions and they never meddled in my personal life like that. Marriage and children are huge life altering decisions and nobody should be forced into either.

 

[HeartlessNinny]

One piece of advice: if you do get married too early, be sure to take nude pictures of your wife. Assume she'll forget about them when she copies her stuff off the computer when you get divorced.

 

[mmsadda]

I've got nothing new to add, really... but your family needs to understand that it's your choice. You're a LONG way off from likely being unable to have kids. Also, it's easier for an older man to get together with a younger woman than vice-versa. If you don't want kids, I can't imagine you could possibly be ready to have kids. Likewise, if you haven't met someone worth spending your life with, there's no sense in trying to spend your life with someone. You seem to get that, though. From talking with some older co-workers (who are anywhere between 30 and 50), it seems like guys' lives go to shit when they have kids earlier than they absolutely want.

Not sure what the best way to get your family off your back is, but obviously you'd be scring yourself over by giving in. Stay true to yourself on this one, for sure.