Violent women

[StevenK]

I have a friend whose wife is violent. If the roles were reversed it would seem natural to step in, but he's a decent sized guy and she's a scratty little bint, if he wanted to he could knock her out in a second so he doesn't need 'saving' in that respect. However he's religious and wouldn't divorce her, and they have a kid together, so he just has a miserable life with a psycho who kicks, bites, scratches.

What do I even say to someone like this, other than leave her, which I have, and he won't.

 

[BeefJerky]

Sadly it doesn't sound like you can do much of anything if he's not willing to leave and report the DV to the police. Hopefully it doesn't escalate to the point where she uses a weapon.

That's rough. Sorry, bud.

 

[deviljin102]

I was in a relationship a few years back with an alcoholic with anger issues. She would always want to fight me and cops were called a good amount of times. The boiling point was that she was shaming her daughter and I stepped up because she was drunk and I told her I had enough of her shit. She got mad an proceeded to take glass cups I had and shot them at my feet and ended up cutting my ankle. She then punched me in the face with rings all on her fingers and I got mad and shoved the bitch hard that she fell. She left my house, broke into my car, and smeared cans of wet cat food all the inside of my car. Even tucked them into the vents. It sucked cleaning that car on a hot summer day. The moral of the story is, love ain't worth the bullshit.

If I were him, he could force her to get anger management. He's not going to harm her and she knows that so that allows her to act the way she does. And in that respect, she is going to see him as a pussy and potentially go as far as to cheat on him eventually. Not saying it would happen. But women like that like a man who stands up to them. I know this from experience. Because when I dumped the drunkie I was dating because I stood up to her and her shit, she kept wanting me back. I said no. Religion be damned sometimes, right?

At least he is not like one of my friends who's situation sucks right now. He proposed to his ex last April and then set a date for the wedding to happen in October of last year. 2 weeks before the wedding calls the damn thing off. I ask him why, he says because they couldn't get along. She needs constant adulation and praise even on the most simplest of things and he isn't like that. So, they broke up yet in the same house they live in because they are both on the lease, she brought another dude in a week after their original wedding date and he fucked her. My friend called me pissed because he could hear the moaning. I told him well get a girl and fuck her. He couldn't because he loved her. This is still going on. Although my friend eventually found someone else, he still has feelings.

 

[terry.330]

I remember reading something about the rate of DV against men by women and how it's way higher than anyone thinks because guys never report it. Lots of dangerously crazy women out there.

 

[Karou]

Last March ...............1/3of my wages, not guilty of anything but an imaginary future can't hit back....

 

[Neo Alec]

Marriage counseling is the only practical solution.

 

[Fritz]

These bitches sound batshit crazy. Even if you somehow find a way to drag them to sessions, ain't no amount of counseling going to fix that.

 

[100proof]

I mean I feel sorry for the guy but you can't fix crazy and there's little recourse or resources for dudes in that situation other than running like Forrest Gump as far away as you can.

 

[fake]

I’m not a lawyer but I do think he should report it when it happens even if he doesn’t press charges. That way if he ever does snap, or if she lies and says he hit her, he will have some sort of documented defense.

 

[greedostick]

My guess, he stays for the violent psycho sex.

 

[LoneSage]

What do I even say to someone like this, other than leave her, which I have, and he won't.

Ignore it completely and just have a few drinks with him from time to time, he'll appreciate your time and company immensely.

 

[Lagduf]

Ignore it completely and just have a few drinks with him from time to time, he'll appreciate your time and company immensely.

He should beat the shit out of his friend’s wife.

 

[ChuChu Flamingo]

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7226326388817644843

 

[LoneSage]

He should beat the shit out of his friend’s wife.

This is life. Some things are out of our control. However, we can make the most of it and the best thing to do is just spend time with your friend, because this will bring them happiness. I know I sound like a fucking joe8 saying this but it's a basic truth.

 

[SouthtownKid]

Quick check. What does Sean Connery have to say on the subject?

About your friend's wife, undiagnosed mental illness may be involved. Some kind of bipolar or borderline personality disorder. If he can somehow maneuver her into getting examined, they may be able to calm her the fuck down and regulate her violence with medication.

 

[The Chief]

Quick check. What does Sean Connery have to say on the subject?

 

[SouthtownKid]

What would "merit it" is that smug, overrated hack Bahbawa Wawa getting passive aggressive in the middle of an interview. Sir Sean really showing impressive restraint there.

Norm Macdonald should have given her a shot to the teeth.

 

[LoneSage]

What would "merit it" is that smug, overrated hack Bahbawa Wawa getting passive aggressive in the middle of an interview. Sir Sean really showing impressive restraint there.

Norm Macdonald should have given her a shot to the teeth.

All three of them are dead now, chief. You can rest now.

 

[NeoSneth]

I have a friend whose wife is violent. If the roles were reversed it would seem natural to step in, but he's a decent sized guy and she's a scratty little bint, if he wanted to he could knock her out in a second so he doesn't need 'saving' in that respect. However he's religious and wouldn't divorce her, and they have a kid together, so he just has a miserable life with a psycho who kicks, bites, scratches.

What do I even say to someone like this, other than leave her, which I have, and he won't.

• Document it. Setup cameras everywhere.
• Make him realize it is abuse and it is not normal.
• Then they both need to know there are consequences. There's only the violence you see. What about what you dont see? Does she lose her shit in public? What if she loses her shit with the kid? Neighbors kid? Someone's dog? Road rage? It could be anything. What if she decides to self harm and hold the husband hostage?

You can't allow this kind of behavior because it becomes a walking liability.

You can report it to child services or the police. It doesnt have to be him. He's not going to press charges, but it sets up a pattern of behavior and protects him if she decides to start lying.

 

[StevenK]

• Document it. Setup cameras everywhere.
• Make him realize it is abuse and it is not normal.
• Then they both need to know there are consequences. There's only the violence you see. What about what you dont see? Does she lose her shit in public? What if she loses her shit with the kid? Neighbors kid? Someone's dog? Road rage? It could be anything. What if she decides to self harm and hold the husband hostage?

You can't allow this kind of behavior because it becomes a walking liability.

You can report it to child services or the police. It doesnt have to be him. He's not going to press charges, but it sets up a pattern of behavior and protects him if she decides to start lying.

That's bold, man. I don't think he'd ever forgive me if I did this.

But maybe you're right, maybe his friendship isn't the biggest priority here.

 

[Neo Alec]

It's easy to sit here and talk about cameras, recordings and lawyers, but getting the law and lawyers involved is a huge leap, with likely no return. It will raise the stakes immensely. Personally, I'd only want the government involved in my business as a last resort. Once they are the outcome will be decided by someone else, everything will be on the record, you're going to have huge lawyer bills, divorce becomes immensely more likely, followed by child support and alimony payments. If divorce is the answer, settling it out of court and peacefully is by far the preferable route.

 

[NeoSneth]

It's easy to sit here and talk about cameras, recordings and lawyers, but getting the law and lawyers involved is a huge leap, with likely no return. It will raise the stakes immensely. Personally, I'd only want the government involved in my business as a last resort. Once they are the outcome will be decided by someone else, everything will be on the record, you're going to have huge lawyer bills, divorce becomes immensely more likely, followed by child support and alimony payments. If divorce is the answer, settling it out of court and peacefully is by far the preferable route.

No one is suggesting lawyers and divorce....yet.
Making a domestic disturbance call is not that rare or damaging. Cops come-check things out-Leave. BUT, now there is a documented record and pattern of behavior IF you decide to take the next step. If you never document it, then it's seen as a one-time event. Not a big deal. Stop over reacting.. etc...

Cameras are almost required because you cannot prove shit without them now. And a woman who is flailing and attacking is likely going to cause damage to herself in the process. How are you going to prove that wasn't you? Plus, you can play this footage back to her when she is level headed as a way to show her problems. She's likely going to have selective memory and not think it was that bad.

You need to do all of this to avoid the lawyers. Because guess what happens the moment she decides to leave or take it to her lawyer? Her word against yours. And none of your friends mean shit when it comes to character references. They'll have to bring the kid in for questioning setting up a life of trauma.

Most US states are now no-fault divorces. They dont care about the "why" anymore. It's just asset allocation. It's not that expensive from a legal standpoint.

 

[Hattori Hanzo]

That crazy hate revenge sex is probably worth a few scars. Be a good friend and don't ruin it for him.

 

[Neo Alec]

No one is suggesting lawyers and divorce....yet.
Making a domestic disturbance call is not that rare or damaging. Cops come-check things out-Leave. BUT, now there is a documented record and pattern of behavior IF you decide to take the next step. If you never document it, then it's seen as a one-time event. Not a big deal. Stop over reacting.. etc...

Cameras are almost required because you cannot prove shit without them now. And a woman who is flailing and attacking is likely going to cause damage to herself in the process. How are you going to prove that wasn't you? Plus, you can play this footage back to her when she is level headed as a way to show her problems. She's likely going to have selective memory and not think it was that bad.

You need to do all of this to avoid the lawyers. Because guess what happens the moment she decides to leave or take it to her lawyer? Her word against yours. And none of your friends mean shit when it comes to character references. They'll have to bring the kid in for questioning setting up a life of trauma.

Most US states are now no-fault divorces. They dont care about the "why" anymore. It's just asset allocation. It's not that expensive from a legal standpoint.

Cameras to record abuse = good

Domestic disturbance call, I'm not sure about.

Watch the documentary Divorce Inc. The family courts heavily favor the woman. It's an uphill battle for the man. And the family courts are a racket that wants to suck your pockets dry.

 

[Claudia Schiffer]

That's bold, man. I don't think he'd ever forgive me if I did this.

But maybe you're right, maybe his friendship isn't the biggest priority here.

this is a bit much. unless children are seriously at risk or you really fear your friend's loss of life.....that is too much direct involvement. no problems with neosneth, but the stuff he is suggesting is ultimate Karen stuff and feeling like you are in the position to "educate" and teach grown adults "consequences". you'd better have credible concerns of imminent danger to jump into such extreme actions.

if anything, you should suggest to your friend that he should start recording/documenting incidents as a "just in case".