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If it did I missed it. This one is Across the Spiderverse and the next one is supposedly Beyond the Spiderverse.
Movie opinions thread (what have you seen, what did you think?)
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If it did I missed it. This one is Across the Spiderverse and the next one is supposedly Beyond the Spiderverse.
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Yeah, I watched Indiana Jones and the Zzzzzzz as well. I likely wouldn't have bothered but we were visiting my parents for the holiday weekend and my father loves him some Indiana Jones. Far be it from me to deny the old man his geriatric action movie.
It's nowhere near as heinous or embarrassing as Crystal Skull but it's so mediocre and thoroughly unnecessary. Everything that's good about it is things you like from the first three movies and everything that's not from there is obnoxious and/or makes no sense due to poor editing.
The boney scarecrow they got to play his goddaughter/in-universe stunt double was a passable stand-in at times but her character had to be too many things (which the writing was completely ill-equipped for) and she simply doesn't have the charisma or the effortless facial acting of Harrison Ford. She's clearly a decent actor but she was given an impossible task (hey... do an Indiana Jones impression standing in front of the actual Indiana Jones, be the exposition dump, the action hero, the female lead and occasionally the audience stand-in while not overshadowing the character people actually came to see). They tried their damndest to make her seem kind of like Indy (a cunning thief, brash and a touch arrogant, a little bit of a ho, good improviser but also in over her head at almost all times) but they give her little to no meaningful character backstory and they never really explain why she talks to Indy like a petulant child so it just makes her come off like a cunt for large swaths of the movie. And not a lovable cunt like Indy. Just a cunt.
They totally waste Mads Mikkelsen too. The man was born to play an Indy villain but his character has none of the arch-ness of previous Indiana Jones foils and for such a brilliant scientist who supposedly got America to the moon, he has to have basically every plot point explained to him by someone else. Boyd Holbrook also plays a great villain (see Logan) but is a largely silent henchman who does the dumbest thing at every possible moment and dies in a hilariously stupid way in this movie.
The editing is incredibly slapdash (the ending seems like they just ran out of money or couldn't figure out how to end the movie and I'm fairly certain there are scenes cut out that explain plot points that make more or less no sense now because of it) and the last thirty minutes of the movie is just stupid contrivance after stupid contrivance. Like I get Indy movies are dumb action movies and sometimes you just have to go with it (see: the raft scene from Temple of Doom, the submarine scene from Raiders, etc.) but can someone explain to me how the 12-year-old that had never flown a plane before made perfect maneuvers in a crazy time storm and then managed to land the plane perfectly on a non-runway in the middle of ancient Greece/Italy/whatever? Suspension of disbelief can only do so much heavy lifting.
Anyway, there are a couple of things I did enjoy: the opening scene with the CG-faced Harrison Ford is surprisingly well done (we're finally reaching the point where that stuff looks pretty good as long as they light it appropriately and don't let the camera dwell on it too long) even if it is a cheap amalgamation of old Indy action scenes/the opening of Last Crusade., the actual last scene (most of the memberberries stuff in this movie didn't work for me but I do love Karen Allen despite her looking every bit of 70 and calling back to their original love scene to wrap up their arc was an emotional moment even if the remainder of the ending is completely botched), a couple of small moments and lines here and there, Boney Scarecrow when she does occasionally do the Indy impersonation well.
Looks like it s gonna be a huge bomb and I'm glad people are finally getting tired of this shit. Here's to hoping they learn the correct lessons from the recent batch of high-profile blockbuster failures but I would've thought Kathleen Kennedy would've been fired after the Star Wars sequels were such a disaster so my optimism is probably misguided.
It's nowhere near as heinous or embarrassing as Crystal Skull but it's so mediocre and thoroughly unnecessary. Everything that's good about it is things you like from the first three movies and everything that's not from there is obnoxious and/or makes no sense due to poor editing.
The boney scarecrow they got to play his goddaughter/in-universe stunt double was a passable stand-in at times but her character had to be too many things (which the writing was completely ill-equipped for) and she simply doesn't have the charisma or the effortless facial acting of Harrison Ford. She's clearly a decent actor but she was given an impossible task (hey... do an Indiana Jones impression standing in front of the actual Indiana Jones, be the exposition dump, the action hero, the female lead and occasionally the audience stand-in while not overshadowing the character people actually came to see). They tried their damndest to make her seem kind of like Indy (a cunning thief, brash and a touch arrogant, a little bit of a ho, good improviser but also in over her head at almost all times) but they give her little to no meaningful character backstory and they never really explain why she talks to Indy like a petulant child so it just makes her come off like a cunt for large swaths of the movie. And not a lovable cunt like Indy. Just a cunt.
They totally waste Mads Mikkelsen too. The man was born to play an Indy villain but his character has none of the arch-ness of previous Indiana Jones foils and for such a brilliant scientist who supposedly got America to the moon, he has to have basically every plot point explained to him by someone else. Boyd Holbrook also plays a great villain (see Logan) but is a largely silent henchman who does the dumbest thing at every possible moment and dies in a hilariously stupid way in this movie.
The editing is incredibly slapdash (the ending seems like they just ran out of money or couldn't figure out how to end the movie and I'm fairly certain there are scenes cut out that explain plot points that make more or less no sense now because of it) and the last thirty minutes of the movie is just stupid contrivance after stupid contrivance. Like I get Indy movies are dumb action movies and sometimes you just have to go with it (see: the raft scene from Temple of Doom, the submarine scene from Raiders, etc.) but can someone explain to me how the 12-year-old that had never flown a plane before made perfect maneuvers in a crazy time storm and then managed to land the plane perfectly on a non-runway in the middle of ancient Greece/Italy/whatever? Suspension of disbelief can only do so much heavy lifting.
Anyway, there are a couple of things I did enjoy: the opening scene with the CG-faced Harrison Ford is surprisingly well done (we're finally reaching the point where that stuff looks pretty good as long as they light it appropriately and don't let the camera dwell on it too long) even if it is a cheap amalgamation of old Indy action scenes/the opening of Last Crusade., the actual last scene (most of the memberberries stuff in this movie didn't work for me but I do love Karen Allen despite her looking every bit of 70 and calling back to their original love scene to wrap up their arc was an emotional moment even if the remainder of the ending is completely botched), a couple of small moments and lines here and there, Boney Scarecrow when she does occasionally do the Indy impersonation well.
Looks like it s gonna be a huge bomb and I'm glad people are finally getting tired of this shit. Here's to hoping they learn the correct lessons from the recent batch of high-profile blockbuster failures but I would've thought Kathleen Kennedy would've been fired after the Star Wars sequels were such a disaster so my optimism is probably misguided.
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Pretty much every movie is 15-30 minutes longer than they should be at this point. Action movies are the worst offenders but no comedy or horror movie should ever be over an hour forty-five.
Editing is a dying art.
Editing is a dying art.
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Doesn't seem like it. People seem pretty universally to agree with you. In a related note, she's also a writer and is the one who created the female 007 replacement in the final Daniel Craig Bond movie, although EON half-chickened out and did rewrites and reshoots to walk the change back a little before releasing the movie. What a weird coincidence that she is involved in two separate attempts to create a female replacement for a beloved franchise lead character. What are the odds.
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Just watched the RLM review for Dingus of Destiny and they confirmed pretty much everything I expected except for hating on Phoebe Waller Bridge. I don't care for her in stuff I've seen, she can act but she just looks like a skinny spoiled bitch no matter what she's doing. An interesting point regarding the length that they brought up was that it's completely lacking in that tightness and formula that the first 3 had. You know considering these are supposed to be fast past serial homages and all. I'll see the movie when it hits streaming but no way am I going to the theater.
Batman 89- I think I watched this a few months ago but I wanted revisit it with all the recent Keaton talk. It's still highly enjoyable but I definitely feel like there's a lot of nostalgia clouding peoples memories. Yes it was a big deal and it successfully pulled off a new type of comic book movie for modern audiences. But it is also a very fucking weird movie looking at it now.
Great performances, great sets, great score and some really iconic scenes, it's got all that. But it's also clunky as hell, Tim Burton is not an action director even a little, the romance sub plot is terrible, the Prince tracks are a really bizarre choice, a lot of the special effects scenes have aged very poorly and the movie is constantly on the verge of going into full blown Tim Burton's cliche weirdo cartoon land. Still it's a fun movie and a real time capsule and Burton managed to restrain himself unlike the sequel.
Batman 89- I think I watched this a few months ago but I wanted revisit it with all the recent Keaton talk. It's still highly enjoyable but I definitely feel like there's a lot of nostalgia clouding peoples memories. Yes it was a big deal and it successfully pulled off a new type of comic book movie for modern audiences. But it is also a very fucking weird movie looking at it now.
Great performances, great sets, great score and some really iconic scenes, it's got all that. But it's also clunky as hell, Tim Burton is not an action director even a little, the romance sub plot is terrible, the Prince tracks are a really bizarre choice, a lot of the special effects scenes have aged very poorly and the movie is constantly on the verge of going into full blown Tim Burton's cliche weirdo cartoon land. Still it's a fun movie and a real time capsule and Burton managed to restrain himself unlike the sequel.
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That's exactly what made it great then and why it and Returns are still great now.
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Indy 5 might be a bigger bomb than Flash.
It cost 329 million to make the movie itself and they spent 100 million on marketing. Taking into account taxes and currency exchanges and different percentage takes by market, they're probably looking at over a billion dollars just to break even on this motherfucker. It took in under 150 million on the worldwide opening weekend so it'll likely top out under 500 million. Even 350 million might be out of reach.
It cost 329 million to make the movie itself and they spent 100 million on marketing. Taking into account taxes and currency exchanges and different percentage takes by market, they're probably looking at over a billion dollars just to break even on this motherfucker. It took in under 150 million on the worldwide opening weekend so it'll likely top out under 500 million. Even 350 million might be out of reach.
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Can't wait for Kathleen Kennedy to start blaming the fans.
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She's a clown but she's not the only one. The wheels are coming off for Marvel movies and, for some reason, Disney is making Tron 3 with Jared Leto instead of any of Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner, Olivia Wilde, or Garrett Hedlund.
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That's a horrible idea that will most likely bite them in the ass. He's a huge piece of shit that basically has his own sex cult. You'd think they'd learn their lesson about casting people like that.
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Not to mention his movies keep bombing lately. Morbius, House of Gucci, The Little Things, and Blade Runner 2049 were his last 4 theatrical movies.
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Oh shit I totally forgot about Morbius lol. Yeah that bombed so hard it was hilarious.
Die Hard- This holds up unbelievably well. It's simple, well paced and doesn't rely on any gimmick or genre blending like a lot of other action movies of the time. Just a guy in a building fighting bad guys. It's still an over the top 80s action movie so it's not exactly realistic but it is smarter and funnier than it's competition and Willis is a great lead.
Die Hard- This holds up unbelievably well. It's simple, well paced and doesn't rely on any gimmick or genre blending like a lot of other action movies of the time. Just a guy in a building fighting bad guys. It's still an over the top 80s action movie so it's not exactly realistic but it is smarter and funnier than it's competition and Willis is a great lead.
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Nice to hear someone talk about Blade Runner 2049 without overrated Villenueve's balls in their mouth.
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I like the movie. Doesn't change the fact that it bombed. In fact, it's the only English-language movie he has made that bombed.
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Can't understand a word you're saying with those balls in your mouth.
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The Burning- This might e the best of the 80s summer camp slashers. It's got gore, nudity and plenty of summer camp shenanigans. A little slow to really get going but it makes up for it later.
The Goonies- Still fun.
The Goonies- Still fun.
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The Mitchell’s Vs The Machines - pretty decent animated movie that’s one half a vacation film, and one half a robot apocalypse movie. Danny McBride plays the dad character and he does a good job at playing a father trying to reconnect with his daughter before she goes off to college. The film has some moments that reference internet humor and stuff like Snapchat filters, memes, and a bunch of other random shit which can get annoying sometimes. Overall, good film that to be honest I liked a lot more than Encanto. Not perfect, but pretty decent for what it is. Also Eric Andre is in it.
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LMFBO what's with the GROOVE ON FIGHT avatar. how long did you play that game, 15 minutes?
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Bitches ain't nothin' but tricks and hos.
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Return of the Living Dead - While I've always enjoyed this movie (Linnea Quigley's tremendous guts on top of being scorched earth hot, the Tar man, the goofiness, "send more paramedics", etc.), there's something about the structure/pacing that always stuck in my craw. I can't quite put my finger on it but it's like they spend an inordinate amount of time on setting some things up that don't really pay off and then barely glance over the Army thing until the end. Some of the cast just kind of disappears for large sections. I guess I'm wondering if it's a movie that got salvaged in editing.
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It is of its time, but it does contain one of only a few legitimately frightening concepts in the entire history of horror movies.